


Five Times Eric and Shawn have Sex, and One Time They Kiss

by musiwrites



Series: Five to One [1]
Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-14
Updated: 2012-06-14
Packaged: 2017-11-07 18:15:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/433967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musiwrites/pseuds/musiwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric assumes Shawn's looking for someone to play the older brother, offer him the help he isn't willing to admit he needs, and despite the fact that they aren't that close, Eric cares enough to offer that if he needs it. Really, Shawn's not looking for a brother, he doesn't know what he's looking for.</p><p> </p><p>Covers from the boys being 15/19 to 20/24. Sex is described but briefly and non-explicitly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Eric and Shawn have Sex, and One Time They Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a very, very long time since I wrote fic, but I woke up this morning inspired to write some Boy Meets World fic, so here you go. I hope it's alright. Unbeta'd.
> 
> Eric/Shawn is my secret OTP. 
> 
> Covers from the boys being 15/19 to 20/24. Sex is described but briefly and non-explicitly. Slight AU, as it has to be with all the continuity errors. The first five pieces take place during the series, the sixth is post-finale.
> 
>  **UPDATE:** _2016 and I finally edited this story, I'm going through the other two (and finishing the third) as well, so look forward to that!_

[1]

The first time Shawn and Eric have sex, Shawn's father has just left again and Eric is being confronted with the real-world for the first time in his life. They're both still reeling.

Shawn scales the roof and comes sneaking in the window, as usual, looking for Cory.

"He's not here." Eric doesn't bother to look up from where he's lying, curled up on his side on the bed. He hears Shawn pause for a moment. "Oh." is all he says, before going to sit on Eric's bed.

Eric assumes Shawn's looking for someone to play the older brother, offer him the help he isn't willing to admit he needs, and despite the fact that they aren't that close, Eric cares enough to offer that if he needs it. However, when he sits up and turns to face Shawn he's proven wrong. The bed shifts underneath them as Shawn leans in close, for a second Eric thinks he's about to kiss him, he's frozen, but instead Shawn ducks his head at the last minute, pressing his lips just below Eric's jaw.

Eric isn't sure what to do, so he doesn't do anything. Shawn presses in harder, tonguing his way down Eric's throat. When he bites at his collar bone Eric releases a groan he didn't even realize he was holding in. He realizes his hands have become fisted in the sheets and his breathing is shallow.

Shawn must take the noise as encouragement, because within seconds he's being pushed so that his legs are left hanging off the side of the bed and Shawn's coming around to straddle him, pulling off his own shirt as he goes. He settles in Eric's lap and almost immediately his hands are pushing up the back of Eric's t-shirt, and he's back to sucking at Eric's neck. Eric knows he should say something, he knows they're too young for this. Or at the very least he knows Shawn definitely is, they're both still teenagers. But when Shawn's hands finally move to lift off Eric's shirt he doesn't protest. He lets Shawn remove his shirt before smoothing his hands over the younger boy's back.

He slides his hands into Shawn's hair and pulls him back, moving to kiss him.

"No." Shawn says quickly, eyes meeting for a moment, before looking away.

Eric wants to ask why, though with a boy like Shawn, as damaged as he is, it's not exactly the most surprising development. But then Shawn slides down between Eric's knees and Eric makes a conscious effort to shut out the rest of his thoughts.

From there, it's not long before things escalate. Shawn's remaining clothes hit the floor and he pulls at Eric's until what’s left is only half-on anyways. Soon, Shawn's grabbing the bottle Eric keeps hidden in his nightstand, opening himself up slowly, and sliding down on to Eric. Surrounding him. Too hot, too tight, too close. It doesn't last long for either of them. Eric comes first and remains clutching tightly around Shawn’s waist as he comes back from his climax, too stunned and light-headed to bring Shawn off, leaving him to do it himself.

They stay together like that for a moment, sharing breaths, regaining themselves. Eventually Shawn pulls off slowly before collapsing to Eric’s side, Eric lets himself fall back onto the mattress quickly after, still feeling breathless. They aren't quite touching, but Eric can feel the heat radiating off Shawn's body.

He tries to think of something to say, but really, what is there to be said in a situation like this? He's still trying to decide whether or not he should feel awkward or guilty when Shawn sits up. He hears the sharp intake of breath, he can't see his face but he's sure Shawn winced. A pang of guilt travels through him.

Shawn stands and puts on his clothes. Eric can tell out of the corner of his eye that Shawn's movements are ginger. He wonders if Shawn was a virgin, but can't bring himself to ask.

Soon enough Shawn's making his way out of the window, and with a quick "Later Matthew's." he's gone.

Eric curls back onto his side, and tries not to analyze the undercurrent in Shawn's voice.

 

[2]

When Shawn comes through the window and ends up standing in Eric and Cory's room, looking ready to bust at the seams with barely contained anger, Eric isn't surprised. He slowly turns away from his desk, and tries to decide whether or not he really regrets that Shawn ended up here.

He’d accused Shawn of seeing Topanga behind Cory's back, and looking back he knows it had been an unfair assumption. He doesn't know Shawn as well as he should for all the time the boy has spent in the Matthew's family home over the years, but he knows him well enough to know he wouldn't do something like that to his best-friend. But, now that Eric has had time to examine the driving forces behind his threats, he understands that they weren't motivated entirely by the want to protect a younger sibling. All last week Shawn had walked around the school as 'Veronica', been asked out by the most popular guy in school and Eric had felt jealousy. Real, non-superficial jealousy like he can’t remember ever having felt before. He'd decided that doing anything about it was not an option, and opted to ignore it instead. Clearly there were consequences.

Shawn doesn’t even bother with the pretence of being there for Cory, he already knows the younger boy isn’t home.

He walks over to Eric and pushes him, hard. Both Eric and the chair he'd been sitting at topple to the ground. Shawn steps closer and Eric's head snaps up, their eyes meeting before Shawn's down on the ground with him, on top of him. It's rougher this time, meaner. Like Shawn would rather be fighting Eric than sleeping with him.

It's been less than a year, Shawn isn't much older than he was the last time, but Eric can tell he's had more experience. It makes something ugly coil in his gut.

They only take off what they need to. Both of them taking out their frustration on each other, not saying anything. Maybe they don't need to, or maybe they just can't. Eric doesn't really know, he's not sure he really cares, right now.

Once they’re finished, Shawn doesn’t linger. Eric didn’t expect him to, but it still stings. By the time he pulls himself up to lean against the bed, Shawn is already on his way out the window and Eric can’t think of anything to say no matter how much he wishes there was something, anything, he could say to make this situation less frustrating. Shawn’s gone and he feels unsatisfied with himself and yearns for something he can’t quite put a name to and doesn’t have the energy to try.

 

[3]

Cory's been following them all around with that stupid camera for nearly a week now and Eric is surprisingly less irritated than he'd expected to be by it.

He's been a bit anxious about moving in with Jack and Shawn, but the camera seems to ease all of their nerves about the situation, gives them something else to focus on. Eric knows he's not the only one feeling anxious. He can see Jack trying hard to get past every wall Shawn keeps throwing up in front of him, desperate to make their relationship as brothers work. He can see Shawn, torn between letting himself accept what Jack is offering, the chance at a small piece of the family he’s always craved, and pushing him away the way he's done with people his whole life. Too afraid of being let down again to try.

He can't be sure, but he thinks Shawn feels the same anxieties he does as well. He'd pushed what happened between them to the back of his mind. He'd gotten into school, and for a little bit he'd even thought he might be in love, ready to be a father to a child that wasn't even his. But, moving in with Jack and Shawn has seemed to bring whatever it is that’s between them back to the surface.

Shawn hasn't said anything, but occasionally he'll catch him staring out of the corner of his eye at Eric, looking almost angry. He isn't really sure how to take that, but he hasn't really been sure about anything between them before, anyways.

Once the majority of their things are finally unpacked after what feels like an eternity, Jack suggests the three of them go for a drink to celebrate their new living arrangements. None of them are old enough to drink, but Shawn knows a guy who knows a guy and they get in easily enough.

Later on, when they get home, Jack doesn't even make it to his room. Eric and Shawn practically have to carry him into the elevator and drag him down the hall, into the apartment. They drop him on the sofa and Shawn laughs under his breath at his brother, sprawled haphazardly across the couch, and stumbles towards his room without saying anything to Eric.

Once Eric is in bed, he finds he can't quite sleep.

He stares up at the ceiling, which seems to spin slightly from the alcohol, caught halfway between sleep and wakefulness. Closing his eyes makes the spinning worse, so he decides to drag himself up to go to the bathroom, but on the way back to his room he ends up in front of Shawn's door, instead of his own.

Without thinking about what he's doing, he pushes open the door and walks over to Shawn's bed. The younger boy is already snoring lightly. He sits and leans over Shawn, whose breathing stutters. He rolls over slowly, looking up at Eric through bleary eyes.

"What are you doing?" He manages through a yawn. Eric doesn't really know, so instead of answering he drapes himself over Shawn and presses his nose into his jaw, inhaling deeply. He fails to convince himself he didn’t miss his scent, didn’t remember it vividly enough to make him ache. Shawn's head falls back with a tired sigh, but he doesn't try to push Eric away. Eric lets his hands find the seam on Shawn's shirt before pushing underneath. He's not removing it, he just wants to feel Shawn's skin.

He won't think about what that means.

Eventually, Shawn's fingers come up to pull at Eric's hair, forcing them eye-to-eye.

"Eric," Shawn's voice is firm, cleared of sleep "Really, what are you doing?". Eric doesn't hear Shawn's question, isn’t ready to. Instead, he is struck with the near overwhelming desire to press his lips against Shawn's.

"Why can't I kiss you?" For a moment, Shawn's eyes go wide, he looks surprised, but soon a wall comes down behind his eyes and the familiar mask of anger spreads over his face as he tries, however weakly, to push Eric off of him. "Eric, get off of me." his voice is cold. Eric's face falls, but he moves to sit up. Not willing to leave the bed entirely. Eric doesn't want to go, but he doesn't know what to say that would convince Shawn not to ask him to leave.

They sit in silence, Shawn won't meet his eyes. Eric is almost ready to leave when Shawn finally says something.

"Why do you want me?" For a moment, Eric can't say anything. He's never actually voiced out loud what he wants, let alone heard it from someone else. Eventually, when he can see Shawn starting to regret his words, he speaks. "Does it really matter?". Shawn's face twists from uncertainty to anger in less than a second. Before Eric can ask why, he's up and out of the bed. On the other side room, pacing like a caged animal. Eric suspects the only reason he doesn't leave the room is Jack sleeping out on the couch.

"Of course it matters, Eric." he snaps "I need to know what you want from me." Eric doesn't know. So, he just asks: "Why?".

"Because! Because, everyone wants something from me. You don't want me, no one ever wants me. Only something from me, so just tell me what it is and we can get this over with." Shawn has stopped pacing, he's staring up at Eric, expecting an answer. Eric can't believe what he's hearing.

"What are you talking about?" When Shawn doesn't interrupt, he goes on. "Shawn, there are lots of people who want you. Cory, Jack, Topanga, my whole family, even." Shawn's face sours at that, but he doesn't say anything. Eric stands to step closer to him. "Just tell me what you're thinking." He doesn’t love begging, but he just wants Shawn to talk to him, for once. For a moment Shawn looks like he might give in, but in the end he just sighs and shakes his head, before stepping closer to bury his face in the crook of Eric's shoulder.

Eric can feel that something between them is different.

"Do you want me?" Shawn asks quietly, and Eric can tell his question carries so much more weight than the simplicity of it implies.

"Of course." Eric replies, just as quietly. Shawn sighs against Eric’s skin, deeply, like some weight has been lifted from his shoulders, before walking Eric backwards and pushing him down and into the bed.

He still won't kiss him, but Eric feel like maybe things between them are moving forward. He doesn't know how, but for now that's okay.

 

[4]

It's been a long time since either of them has come to the other.

Almost two years. Not that Eric's been counting.

He feels hurt, but he can't bring himself to be angry when he holds Shawn. He can feel the pain radiating off the younger man. The pain of Angela, the pain of his Father's death, the pain of his world falling apart around him. Despite the fact that Eric knows right now Shawn would rather be in the arms of someone else, the only thing he wants is to ease his pain.

Shawn's done bad things, just like everyone else in the world, but Eric knows he doesn't deserve the suffering that's threatened to suffocate him his whole life. If he can give Shawn a break, ease the burden and help him think about something, anything, other than the pain for even just a second, he will.

So, he tries. He knows he'll fail. He knows in the morning they'll both probably be only worse off because of this, but he tries anyways.

 

[5]

This time, it's Eric who's in pain.

When Shawn comes to him he's only just gotten home. He's sitting on his bed with tears still falling down his voice, he can still hear Tommy's heartbroken voice in his mind. A boy who only wants to be loved, have a family. Nothing more. A boy he abandoned.

He doesn't even know how Shawn got in. As soon as he comes close enough, Eric clings to him. He knows he looks weak, he feels weak. He doesn't care.

He wants to ask Shawn how it feels. What it's like not to have a family, how can he make it feel better? He's desperate, he just wants to know that Tommy will be alright, that he made the right decision. But he can't get the words out. He doubts it would help either way. He knows, no matter how badly he wishes there were, there aren't any magic words he can say to make it all better. To take pain away.

When Shawn pulls off his shirt and pushes him back, rubbing soothing circles over Eric's chest, he tries to concentrate entirely on the feeling of Shawn's hands drifting across his skin. Block out everything bad in the world and pretend it's only him and Shawn. Pretend they're the only ones in the world and all that exists is this point in time. Here and now. Shawn doesn’t say a word, but there’s a tenderness to his movements that Eric needs more than he knows.

He knows he's only hurting himself, in the end, but he can't bring himself to care.

This time when they finish, Shawn stays, keeps rubbing soothing circles into Eric’s skin until he sleeps. It's the first time he hasn't been gone when Eric wakes up. There's tension in the air between them. He can tell Shawn wants to say something, he can feel it. He's dying to ask what Shawn's thinking. What he was thinking when he showed up in the first place. But, in the end, neither of them say anything. Shawn gets up and leaves, and Eric is left feeling more alone and foolish than he did last night.

 

[+1]

It's been about six months since they moved to New York, and for the first time in what feels like forever, Eric is really, truly happy.

He's got a steady job working at the local news station, and in his spare time he's even going to the occasional audition. Everything isn’t perfect, far from it, but Eric is learning that happiness doesn’t mean perfection. Not everything has to be right, he’s making the best of his life with what he can do, taking things one day at a time, and it makes him feel good.

He’s currently on his way home to his new apartment, groceries in hand. The first few months the four of them had all decided to live together, but it was agreed on from the beginning that it would only be a temporary arrangement. Cory and Topanga were nothing but welcoming, but he and Shawn both wanted to give them their own space as a married couple.

They hadn't really had to talk about the agreement to be roommates, it was obvious, and eventually they'd found a half-decent apartment only a few blocks down from Cory and Topanga's building.

Eric had wondered if it would feel as strange as last time, sharing an apartment, but within the first week they'd found themselves falling into sync almost effortlessly. Really, it shouldn’t be so surprising. They’ve both grown since leaving home, both had time to lick their wounds and move on, still a bit of a mess on occasion but much more determined and confident in their ability to deal with the things life would throw at them now that they’re finally leaving the haze of adolescent angst and adrenaline behind.

It isn’t hard to notice Shawn seems a lot happier these days as well.

He has a job at a photography studio, which gives him flexible hours to pursue his writing, some of which is now published. He's even heard him tossing around the idea of going back to school to become a teacher, the last thing anyone would have expected from him just a few years ago. The last thing he'd have expected from himself.

Life is good.

Eric staggers in the door, he never fails to catch the toe of his sneaker on the floorboard that protrudes just inside the doorway, and is about to call out to see if Shawn is home to help him with the groceries when the younger man appears from the hall, a strange but happy look on his face.

"Hey." He smiles, coming over to help Eric with the bags. "Hey." Eric smiles back. Something is definitely strange about him. "What'd you get?" Shawn asks casually, peering into the bags as they make their way into the kitchen and set about putting them away. "Just a bunch of stuff, I forgot the list." Shawn rolls his eyes at Eric "I figured something easy for tonight, grilled cheese?" Shawn laughs and tells him that sounds good as they finish putting away the rest of the groceries, afterwards Eric goes to use the shower, leaving Shawn to the grilled cheese.

When Eric comes out, there’s a grilled cheese waiting for him on the counter. He picks up the plate and walks over to the couch where Shawn is sitting, pretending not to wonder if Shawn is really watching the water that falls in from his hair and drips down his skin, disappearing under the collar of his shirt, or if it’s just his imagination.

When he sits, Shawn moves to readjust, and if Eric isn’t mistaken the move deliberately brings them closer together rather than leaving more room between them. They eat in relative silence, watching the cartoon roadrunner's antics on the small screen in front of them.

When they’re finished, Eric reaches over to collect their plates from the table, but Shawn grabs his wrist to stop him.

"Eric." When he turns to face him, the look in his eyes is nervous, but not upset, happy, even. Eric brings his hand back to rest on his leg slowly, but Shawn doesn’t let go, he just relaxes his grip and leaves his hand splayed over Eric’s forearm.

"I need to talk to you about something." Eric nods, knowing the surest way to derail a confession from Shawn is to interrupt it.

"A long time ago, I asked you if you wanted me. You said yes." Eric feels his cheeks fill with heat at the memory, but still says nothing. "I was too stupid to take advantage of that." Shawn stops for a moment, seemingly a little shaken. Eric isn’t sure why it feels so natural, but he rests his other hand over the one that still holds his arm. Shawn glances down at their hands before taking a deep breath and continuing.

"I know I was too young the first time we did what we did, that is was more than a little messed up, but you were there for me, Eric. And no one else was. I know there have been a lot of problems, and a lot of times where there were things I wanted, needed, to tell you that I just couldn't. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. I know I was an idiot, I probably still am, actually, but I've at least learned from my mistakes, and you deserve an apology." Eric is about to tell Shawn he’s wrong, but the younger man shakes his head, cutting him off.

"You do, Eric. You were always there for me when you had no obligation to be, even when it was just hurting you and I was too selfish to care. I just, I've never felt like I was worth anything to anyone. My Dad left, my mom left, Angela left, Cory has Topanga, and I'm always the one left alone." Shawn bites his lip, like he’s trying to hold back the severity of the hurt behind his words.

"But you've never left me alone. Even when you could've, should've, had no reason to stay." Shawn looks back up to meet his eyes again. "I just want to say I wanted you too. Want, I want you too. I was too stupid to let myself acknowledge it before, and if you still feel the same way, I'm ready to be smarter this time."

Eric isn’t really sure what to say. He feels happiness and disbelief swirling together, filling him with giddy energy and anticipation. 

"I- yeah. Yes, definitely yes." He finally stutters out. Shawn smiles, bigger and brighter than Eric has seen in years and leans forward to press his lips into Eric's own for the first time.

**Author's Note:**

> Believe it or not this was not supposed to be an angst-filled story. I tried to give Eric's character more depth, because I've always believed his character had a lot of potential and hated the way they dumbed him down (especially in later seasons). 
> 
> Find me @musiwrites on tumblr or @musiwrites on twitter and feel free to leave prompts/headcanons/general emotions!


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